This Special Life

Autism Advocacy & Support

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA

Understanding Accommodations and Modifications

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As a special educator, part of my job is to ensure children with autism can access school activities and lessons in a way that is meaningful for them. This is different than creating individualized instructional plans and programs, because it involves taking something that already exists and adjusting it in some way – rather than creating something brand new. And, this way of specialized teaching applies to social-emotional learning, too.

There are two main ways of altering educational material and methods to accomplish this goal: accommodations and modifications. The line between these two things often becomes blurry for parents, and the truth is that it can be blurry in practice for educators and other school professionals as well. But it is important to understand the distinction between the two, as well as what they each entail, in order to ask for and utilize them successfully.

In this article, we’ll define accommodations and modifications in a way that is easy to understand and remember. We’ll also give some common examples of accommodations and modifications in an educational setting, and discuss ways to advocate for them appropriately.

Why Do Accommodations and Modifications Matter?

To understand why accommodations and modifications matter, it’s first important to understand the context in which they are typically used. In K-12 educational settings, a tiered or circular approach is often used to gradually increase supports and individualization for students who need extra or specialized support at school. This may be referred to as Response to Intervention (RTI) or Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS).

This means that all students are provided with a robust, high quality educational environment – including the physical space, the curriculum, and the teaching staff – as their foundation for learning. That’s the first tier. Then, at the second tier, students who need some extra support for specific academic or social and behavioral needs can access that as naturalistically as possible in their classroom or in small groups. This is where accommodations and modifications are applied most frequently. But, that doesn’t mean they aren’t useful and even critical in the third tier as well. The third tier is highly supported, individualized education services tailored to the intensive needs of the child.

What Are Modifications?

It will be easier to understand what accommodations are if we first explain modifications. Modifications are what they sound like: changes to an existing lesson, in order to make it more accessible. For example, a modification for a sheet of math problems could be to shorten the amount of problems assigned, or highlight only the ones relevant to the facts the student currently knows by heart. Text could be modified by making the font larger or increasing the space between words. Visual guides might help the student to focus on what they are reading, such as a ruler used under each line of text as it is read to ease efforts to visually track and block out excess visual stimulation or distractions on the page.

Modifications can be relatively easy to implement “on the fly.” This means that a teacher might notice a student is struggling with an assignment in the moment, and make an adjustment right then – even if they didn’t pre-plan to modify the assignment. In this type of situation the teacher is looking to ensure the student accesses the content without having to complete every single practice opportunity, or to assess their mastery of a concept without completing every test item. The teacher will use their educational judgment to note whether the student can move on at pace with the rest of the class with continuing modifications, or if they will need additional time with the material to master it.

Remember, modifications take what is already there and adjust it based on the student’s unique needs or tolerance and endurance – but the content itself remains the same.

What Are Accommodations?

Accommodations, on the other hand, take what is already there and tackle it in a different way. The assignment is replaced with a different assignment altogether. Accommodations are particularly useful when the student is working within the same learning environment as their peers, and with the same subject matter to a certain extent, but have a different learning style. For example, a nonverbal student learning about community helpers alongside their peers who are doing an activity to verbally identify pictures of police officers, firefighters, and other community helpers during a class meeting might do a picture-to-picture or word-to-picture matching activity instead of verbally saying the answers.

Accommodations could also adjust the subject matter within an overall scope and sequence, to a certain extent. For example, a student who is working on single digit addition while the majority of the class is working on double digit addition could receive a worksheet with single digit addition problems during class work time, while still participating in the mathematics lesson at large with the rest of the class. The teacher could even plan ahead to include some single digit practice in the lecture or group practice section of the lesson, utilizing those as review for students who have already mastered the skill but as group instruction opportunities for the student who is currently working on that skill.

In my experience, accommodations are a lot harder to do “on the fly” than modifications. This is because they require some type of preplanning to identify what content the student is working on and what type of accommodation they will benefit from, as well as how to integrate it with what the class as a whole is doing on a daily basis in their lessons. Because of this, accommodations might be best applied when identified in advance and planned for unit by unit, instead of day by day. Then, the teacher can monitor the student’s response in the moment and make further adjustments from there as needed.

How to Ask for Accommodations and Modifications

If you think your child would benefit from more or different accommodations and modifications than what they are currently receiving in their educational environment, it’s still a good idea to start with inventorying their current menu. This is because when accommodations and modifications are being done well, they often blend into the background of what is happening on a daily basis at school.

A good way to start the conversation is to ask your child’s teacher something along the lines of: can you share with me what accommodations and modifications my child is currently benefiting from, both academically for each subject area, and also socially and behaviorally?

Once you’ve got an outline of what’s happening and what your child is responding to most successfully, you can craft your requests accordingly. For example, if your child’s teacher shares with you that during reading time your child gets more frequent breaks between work tasks so they can engage successfully with the material and not get too tired or bored, you might ask for a similar modification during less structured times of the day when they are struggling to maintain positive interactions with peers for the entirety of lunch, or the entirety of recess. Or, if you have concerns about your child’s ability to understand more abstract concepts like the structure of the U.S. government, you might ask for accommodated material addressing other beginning civics concepts like creating rules, reaching consensus, and following rules.

Finally, if your child has an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), there is a specific section in which accommodations and modifications will be listed. However, these are often listed in boilerplate language, so they will need to be interpreted and applied with specific attention to your child’s needs and their learning contexts at school.

Teaching Social Emotional Awareness To Young Children With Autism

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All kids need help to learn critical social emotional skills. That’s how they form a foundation to successfully interact with others, accomplish collaborative projects, and participate on a team. Children begin practicing early social emotional skills as infants. Crying to get a need met, accepting comfort after getting hurt, and imitating a sound or action are all beginning skills on the way to more complex social emotional understanding and behaviors later in life.

Once babies progress beyond these early methods of communicating their emotions and exploring social relationships, they become children who need a lot of help to figure out social emotional expectations and act accordingly. They experience feelings and emotions that are as intense as you or I do, but they don’t yet have a way to think about and express them with nearly the same sophistication.

The first step on the road to a vibrant repertoire of social emotional behaviors and skills is to learn and practice social emotional awareness. Social emotional awareness is the ability to identify one’s thoughts and feelings, as well as identify indicators of feelings and emotions in others. When social emotional awareness is established, children can then begin learning how to manage their own emotions and interact successfully with others in a range of social situations, from playdates to group projects in school.

Children with autism may need extra guidance and teaching to successfully acquire and generalize social emotional awareness. They might need more opportunities to practice naming and expressing feelings and emotions. This is something that you can do at home, in your community, and when visiting or traveling to new environments. 

Here’s how to teach social emotional awareness to your child with autism.

Start With Them

Your child’s own emotions are a great starting point for teaching awareness, as they are intimately familiar with them. For example, your child may do things like jump up and down or nod their head when they are happy. Or, they could fall to the floor or stomp their feet when they are sad or mad. These nonverbal indicators of emotions give you an opportunity to talk about emotions as they are experienced. This provides context for your child to learn how to tell the difference between what they feel across different experiences. 

Use Easy Words

Starting with simple emotion words like happy, sad, mad, and excited makes it easier for your child to make the connection between a range of experiences that all produce a similar emotion. For example, you could use the word “excited” to describe your child’s emotions when they get to have their favorite cereal at breakfast, when you get home from work, and when their favorite book is picked for the bedtime story. Of course, you want to use many emotion words over time to increase your child’s social emotional literacy, and help them know what to do across a wide range of situations that produce complex emotions. To do this, you could pick one or two new emotion words to introduce each week, in addition to the basic, universal words you use all the time. 

Teach Expression

Part of social emotional awareness is learning how to communicate emotions. This communication doesn’t have to be verbal. You can start teaching nonverbal expression of emotions early. A good starting place is the “If You’re Happy And You Know It” song. A good rule of thumb is to make sure that the expressions you choose are age appropriate in a range of situations. For example, stomping one’s feet when mad is OK for a toddler or very small child, but squeezing a stuffed animal or pillow may be more appropriate for preschoolers and kindergarteners. You can also teach expressions that involve a social component, to lay the foundation for social skill development later. For example, teach giving a high five as an expression of feeling proud. 

Say Complicated Things For Them

Your child will often feel big emotions that are too complex for them to articulate, especially in the moment. This could happen when they are feeling happy and excited – or overstimulated – as well as when they feel frustrated or disappointed. During these situations, it is a good idea to get down on your child’s level and explain what you see happening. For example, you could say: “I saw that you got skipped over for the circle time activity. It’s so disappointing when you don’t get a turn. Sometimes we don’t have control over what happens to our turn in a large group. That would make me feel sad, too.”

Paying attention to complex social situations and their impact on your child, and then giving them the words to describe the situation and feelings is a good way to help them build awareness. You don’t have to fix the problem in the moment, if it can’t be fixed – the teachable moment can be about noticing and describing feelings and emotions that environmental factors produce. Also, this lets your child know they’re not isolated in their feelings. 

Use Books

Today, there are many books for children specifically designed to teach social emotional awareness. These books help families learn about and begin to practice emotion regulation skills, in addition to showing common scenarios that produce emotions your child is likely to feel. These books also plant the seeds for learning social skills, like conflict resolution through demonstrating sharing. If you type “social emotional learning” into your Amazon search box, and filter for Children’s Books, you’ll find lots of books like this.

You can also use books that are not specifically designed to teach social emotional awareness and skills. For example, the Elephant and Piggie series by Mo Willems provides lots of opportunities to pause and name feelings and emotions the characters are having during the course of the book. As your child gets older, you can talk about what the characters did to identify and express their emotions, as well as solve problems when they occurred. Talk about other solutions they could have used, as well.

Let Unhappy Emotions Be OK

As a parent, you naturally want to solve problems for your child, and make them feel better when they are frustrated or sad. You could place all of your effort into trying to eliminate the cause of their disappointment. However, it’s important to be intentional in letting your child feel their emotions and letting them know that’s OK, too. Sometimes it will not be possible to make the source of unhappy emotions go away. By allowing room for these feelings and validating them, you’ll help your child build resilience so they can stay calm and regulate intense emotions as they get older.

Talk About Your Own Emotions

Parents often screen what they say and do around their child, and this is positive to a certain extent. You want your child to trust that you can help them navigate situations that are uncertain or uncomfortable for them. You also want to be thoughtful in what emotions you demonstrate in front of your child and what social situations you will talk about with them, being mindful of what is age appropriate.

However, don’t eliminate discussion of your own social experiences and emotions from your vocabulary around your child entirely. It’s important that they see and hear you experiencing a range of emotions so that they can learn from your model. For example, if you knock over a cup of milk before you have a chance to give it to them at breakfast, you could take a breath, then say calmly, “this is so frustrating! I was all ready to give this to you, and it surprised me when I knocked it over. Now I have more work to do. And I’m worried we will be late. But I am going to take a deep breath, clean this up, and get you some more milk. I know within a few hours, this won’t bother me at all anymore.”

How to Curb Separation Anxiety

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Has the drop off routine been causing your child extra stress lately? Maybe you are preparing for your child’s very first experience with daycare or school. Or, you could be working up to having a babysitter or nanny stay with your child while you and your partner go on a date night. There are lots of situations that require you to say goodbye to your child temporarily. This can be harder on some families than others, and for different reasons.

For example, separation anxiety might strike you or your child at different times. Or, drop off could be going along smoothly for weeks or months when all of a sudden something changes and you’re back to square one. For families of children with autism, separation might be made even more difficult due to communication and behavior challenges.

But separation doesn’t have to be a looming cause of anxiety. There are some key strategies to planning for separation that help assuage the stress, and foster feelings of success and comfort rather than failure and loneliness. In this article, we will cover how to plan for successful separation during school or daycare drop off. We will also discuss how to problem solve unexpected occurrences of separation anxiety and non-routine separation plans.

Gradual Separation

Gradual separation is a common approach to first-time school and drop off routines. It may be less stressful for parents who are not ready to see their child cry or whose child may be prone to lengthy tantrums. The gradual separation plan can be well-suited for children with autism and other special needs. It uses shaping and prompt fading to build social emotional resilience in situations where the child is independent from the parents. To do gradual separation, follow these steps:

1. Discuss the plan with the teacher or daycare provider. 

It is critical that you as a team are on the same page. The teacher or caregiver will adjust their goals for what will be accomplished at school or daycare that day based on the plan. Furthermore, gradual separation may take multiple days to complete, so it is important that you develop a sketch of the steps of the plan together, in advance. Decide together what you will do in the classroom, how long you will stay, and how you will communicate when you are ready to leave.

2. Do not say goodbye to your child unless you are leaving. 

Gradual separation should occur in a linear fashion, without starting to leave and then deciding to stay if your child cries. Instead, you should enter the classroom with your child and communicate what you will be doing: “I am going to sit in this chair while you play with your friends. Your teacher will help you.”

3. The goal is to shape your child’s independence incrementally, so they learn to do things with you further away or less involved. 

But, they still know you are close by, which helps with their comfort and confidence. To this end, you should focus on ways to fade your presence. For example, encourage your child to accept help from a peer or teacher to open a toy container instead of yourself. Sit off to the side of the circle time area instead of at circle with your child on your lap. If your child cries while you are still in the room, provide neutral comfort but stay calm. Remember that your child is learning to self soothe and accept comfort from other trusted adults, and crying is part of that learning.

4. Follow your child’s cues to move to the next step of the plan, and repeat this process until you’ve successfully reached the point of being able to drop off and say goodbye at the door. 

For example, your child might initiate going to circle on their own instead of you carrying them over. Or, they might accept prompting from the teacher to do this instead of requiring it from you. At this point you would follow your child’s lead by fading your presence back to sitting at the side of the room but not leaving completely.

5. Once your child is consistently playing independently or with peers, following routines independently or with help from an adult other than you, and accepting comfort from another adult, you can plan to drop off at the door the next day or at the next class period. 

Tell your child’s daycare provider or teacher that you are ready to do this so they can plan ahead too, and support you to follow through with saying goodbye and leaving. Once you’ve reached this stage, you can follow the same steps as are outlined in “Fast Separation.”

Fast Separation

Fast separation is often successful for parents and children who already have experience being apart for short periods of time. It’s also handy for when work schedules or the needs of other children prevent the parent from doing the gradual separation approach, which is time consuming.

Fast separation can be a good strategy for children with autism as long as there is a communication plan in place ahead of time, and the adult(s) receiving the child are prepared with knowledge about your child’s particular needs. Consider sending this information in an email, having a phone call prior to the first day, or meeting with the provider ahead of time so they can meet your child. This way you and the provider or teacher will be better equipped to carry out the fast separation plan successfully without stopping to share additional information in the moment.

The following steps can also be used if you have done the gradual transition process and you and your child are ready for drop off and goodbye at the door.

1. While being conscientious about your school or daycare’s requirements, ensure your child has access to comfort items such as a favorite stuffed animal or pictures of you. 

Any special items like allergen-free foods or toileting materials (i.e. flushable wipes) that they need should also be included as per school or daycare guidelines. 

2. Communicate with your child in advance, but don’t dwell unnecessarily on the separation. For example, you could say: “Now we are going to school. 

You are going to play with your teachers and friends while I am at work. I will come back to pick you up when school is over.”

3. When you arrive at the destination, go to the door and complete the hand off of your child to their caregiver or teacher. 

Give your child a hug and say something like “Bye bye, I love you, I will see you after school.”

4. Now it’s time to go. It is OK and normal if your child cries. Their teacher is there to comfort them while you are gone. 

The teacher will also contact you if your child gets sick or cries so long that they need to scale back to gradual separation. However, this is very uncommon. Your child is more likely to adapt to their environment and calm down once you are gone. It is important that you provide your child with autism that clear consistency of saying goodbye, leaving, and then returning later. You should not spend a long time saying goodbye or draw the process out, or “cancel” the process altogether by deciding not to leave. Instead, keep the drop off to one minute or less. This teaches them that “goodbye” is not a bad thing and that they can always trust you will come back. Over time, it will become easier.

Dealing with Setbacks

Setbacks may happen when your child has a new teacher or changes schools. Or, you could have something going on at home that’s causing changes to routines there – and sometimes this will also impact school routines. 

Setbacks are to be expected. Normally, your child will be able to work through these in a few days if you stick to the routine. However, if you feel extra support is needed, you can talk to the teacher about scaling up on comfort items that you send for awhile. Or, if your schedule permits, you can shorten the duration of time between drop off and pick up for awhile.

Non-Routine Separation

Non-routine separation is most common when you have a babysitter come to your home for a special event, or drop your child off at a community childcare center with which they are not as familiar. For non-routine separation, follow all of the same steps as with routine separation plans. Make sure that the care provider is prepared to comfort your child for a longer time if it takes them a while to settle in. And, make sure you’ve got your phone on vibrate so you can be reached if necessary, but so that you’re not feeling like you have to constantly check the screen while you’re at an event or doing something fun with your partner.

Got Sleep Woes? Try The Bedtime Pass

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“Please go to sleep, please go to sleep, please go to sleep.” “Please stay asleep, please stay asleep, please stay asleep.” Have either of these become your mantra, during your child’s bedtime, or later when you’re trying to wind down and go to sleep yourself?

Teaching sleep routines is hard for many parents. Maintaining those routines during sleep regressions can be even harder. If you have a child with autism, you may have found that traditional sleep training methods don’t work for you, at least at face value.

In this article, we’ll discuss a sleep training method for young children that often flies under the radar: the bedtime pass. We’ll go over what the bedtime pass system is, how it works, and how to modify it for children on the spectrum.

What Is Bedtime Pass?

The bedtime pass system was first developed by Dr. Pat Friman, a practitioner and researcher specializing in behavioral health research and clinical practice. In 1999, Dr. Friman and a research partner, Connie Schnoes, published the results of a study they conducted using the bedtime pass. The system was successful, and the method was then tested in various research studies over the following decade.

Bedtime pass has been disseminated to families through the suggestion of pediatricians, parent coaches, behavioral therapists, and other health and wellness influencers like Dr. Alan Greene. Today, bedtime pass remains one of the lesser known strategies for sleep training, because it is not for use with infants, or toddlers under around three years of age. However, it continues to steadily gain in popularity as parents discover it when their child is a little older and find success.

The bedtime pass system provides an alternative to letting your child cry and waiting it out while they have a tantrum in their room before falling asleep. It is also a good strategy to use when transitioning from a crib to a bed. This is because the bedtime pass provides structure around when it is allowable to get out of bed, instead of figuring this out with your child by trial and error once the crib rails are gone.

How Does The Bedtime Pass Work?

Here’s how the traditional bedtime pass system works:

1. Create the bedtime pass with your child. You can draw on the card with your child, or decorate with stickers, et cetera. You don’t have to write “bedtime pass” on the card, but you can if this is motivating for your child. This also may help others who are involved in the bedtime routine such as your spouse or babysitter. 

2. Talk about the plan. Give your child instructions on how the bedtime pass works, before you start. Identify what day you’ll begin the program and keep the bedtime pass stored away until it’s time to start. This will help increase excitement and positive feelings about the system, since the pass you and your child decorated together is specially reserved for starting bedtime pass.

3. Implement the pass. Do your child’s bedtime routine as normal. This could include a sequence like bath time, pajamas, brushing teeth, reading a story, and singing a song. Tuck your child in to their bed. Place the pass on their bedside table. Remind them that the pass is there if they need to get out of bed, for a hug, or a drink of water, or anything like that. They can use it once each night. If they use it, you’ll keep it for them until the following night. Then say goodnight and leave the room.

4. If your child uses the pass, provide them with what they are seeking, whether it be water, a hug, or perhaps another short song. Give your attention freely, this first time they use the pass. Then, lead them back to bed and tuck them in again. This time, keep the pass. You can let them know they’ll be able to use it again the next night. Say goodnight and leave the room.

5. If your child gets out of bed again, give minimal attention. Lead them back to their bed. Repeat this as many times as necessary. Research has shown that this method results in far less crying at nighttime, and quick results. Children who use bedtime pass begin falling asleep more quickly, and even begin to keep their pass with them all night, not needing to use it at all.

How Can I Make Bedtime Pass Work For My Child With Autism?

You may be thinking: “there is no way this would work with my child! They will tantrum all night long, and I’ll be just as exhausted as ever.” Here are some tips and tricks to adjust bedtime pass specifically for kiddos on the spectrum.

1. Use more than one pass, at first. You should identify how many times your child is getting out of bed at night, and start with that many passes. For example, if it takes a max of 5 trips before they fall asleep, plus 1 midnight wake-up where they need help to go back to sleep, you could start with 7 passes. Start with the absolute maximum you think you will need in order for the bedtime pass system to work. At first, you won’t see a difference in the amount of time and energy you’re dedicating to getting your child to sleep, of course. The idea is that once they’re using the pass system successfully, you’ll be able to gradually decrease the amount of passes you leave with them at bedtime.

2. Use a visual guide, or a social story. Using pictures to illustrate bedtime pass and what your child will do as well as what you will do at every step of the process can help them catch on to what’s expected. When each step is presented in a sequence, it also helps you stick to the plan when you’re tired or overwhelmed. This will also help you establish additional guidelines for the system, like what happens when your child gets up without the pass, what kinds of things they can trade the pass in for, and if the pass functions differently at bedtime vs. during middle of the night wake-ups. 

3. Add in additional reinforcement. This could take any number of forms. You might provide your child with an additional reinforcer each time they use the pass, like a star on a chart toward earning a new LEGO set, or a finger puppet for their collection, or a special sticker. You could allow cash-in of unused bedtime passes for reinforcers the following morning. You can time your child’s total minutes out of bed, and do a special reinforcer each day following nights when those total minutes decrease.

4. Troubleshoot. If the bedtime pass doesn’t work at first, what are some things you can adjust? Do you need to talk about the pass at night more, or perhaps less? Do you need to adjust your number of passes? Do you need to change your methods so that the times your child uses the pass are clearly reinforced, while times they get out of bed after all passes have been used up are clearly neutral?

Sources & Additional Resources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10520609/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1702334/

https://www.drgreene.com/bedtime-pass-program

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/09/18/441492810/the-bedtime-pass-helps-parents-and-kids-skip-the-sleep-struggles

https://www.autismspeaks.org/sites/default/files/2018-09/Sleep%20Quick%20Tips.pdf

Can the bedtime pass really work for me?

https://vkc.mc.vanderbilt.edu/assets/files/resources/sleepasd.pdf


First-Then Schedules for Beginners

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If you have a child with autism, then you’ve probably heard already that visual supports can help you solve problems with transitions and other activities or tasks that are difficult for your child. The truth is, many families are so overwhelmed by the litany of resources out there, they might throw their hands up and say “this is too much! I’ll just keep doing it the way I’ve been doing it,” and not try something new.

When you’re in the thick of every day life, you might be reluctant to introduce new strategies or plans, because they take time and energy. You can’t go through your day on autopilot – which is sometimes what we all need to be able to do to make it from morning wake-up to bedtime – while you’re establishing a new routine or system. 

That’s why it can be helpful to break down visual supports into different categories and types. I recommend tackling one thing new at a time. For example, if a member of your family has recently started at a new school or a new job, it might not be the best time to try to introduce brand new visual schedules into the mix.

On the other hand, visual supports can help provide structure during times of change or uncertainty in family life. That’s why it is good to familiarize yourself with the different types of visual supports and how they can be useful, so that you’ll be better able to use them in a pinch when things get chaotic.

In this article, we’ll look at one specific type of visual support: the first-then schedule.

What is it?

A first-then schedule is exactly what it sounds like: a visual with an image of the task, activity, or item your child needs to complete or obtain before accessing a preferred item, toy, or activity – which is the second image on the first-then schedule. Often, first-then schedules are placed on a laminated sheet of paper with two squares of velcro adjacent to each other. Then, the first-then pictures can be swapped and exchanged depending on what’s happening at that moment. First-then schedules can also be structured with the “first” picture at the top, and the “then” picture below it.

First-then schedules often use simple, clip-art or Boardmaker style pictures as the images, but they can also be filled with actual photos or even words in text for children who can read – or are learning to read, with the word typed below the image.

First then schedules are sometimes labeled with the words “first” and “then” above their respective spots on the paper, but this isn’t absolutely necessary. The words are meant to be a cue for the adult who is facilitating use of the schedule to remember to use the “first…then…” language consistently.

How does it work?

A first-then schedule works based on something called the Premack principle. The Premack principle simply means that low-probability behaviors can be encouraged and increased by following them directly with high-probability behaviors. For the purposes of a first-then schedule, think of low-probability behaviors as anything your child doesn’t want to do or that is hard for them, and high-probability behaviors as anything they like to do a lot.

For example, picking up toys (low-probability behavior) could be encouraged by following it directly with reading a favorite book or doing a favorite short, low-mess and low-clutter activity like blowing bubbles. Taking a taste of an unfamiliar food that is a strange texture (an “adventure bite”) could be encouraged by following it directly with a bite of a familiar favorite food.

Over time, using the first-then process can actually increase the chances that your child will start to do those non-preferred tasks more independently and more frequently, or with less reminders and help. They may accept prompting to complete transitions between activities more easily. This is a simple way that the concept of reinforcement helps parents guide their children to new levels of independence and fluency with skills that were once new and difficult territory.

How do I do it?

For parents new to the first-then schedule, I recommend a strategy that may seem non-intuitive at first: use a neutral or even somewhat preferred activity that your child already knows how to do as the “first” item, followed by a highly preferred “then” item. Over time, you will be able to introduce difficult and unknown or even disliked activities as the “first” item, but you and your child need to learn the first-then process itself to begin with. Given that the first-then schedule is in and of itself a new and unfamiliar, and sometimes difficult, process, you need to focus on that as your “one new thing” in the beginning of incorporating first-then into your family’s lifestyle.

For example, if your child is good at taking their shoes out of the closet when it’s time to put them on and go somewhere, and they REALLY love bubbles, you could start your first-then schedule with “first, get shoes; then, bubbles!”.

Create your schedule ahead of time. It doesn’t have to be fancy! Some families also use a personal-size whiteboard and dry erase pen that they have hanging on a hook or in an easily accessible cabinet. This way you can adjust your first-then items on the fly.

However, especially at first, it can be helpful to have pictures printed ahead of time, for maximum clarity for your child.

You can also use your phone or a tablet if this is preferred for your family’s lifestyle. Simply use a picture-stitching app or the notes application on your phone to create the first-then schedule with two pictures, in advance.

When you introduce the schedule for the first time, get down on your child’s level so you can show them the first-then schedule at their eye level. It’s also helpful if you have the actual item handy and in their line of sight. For example, if you are using bubbles as the “then” activity, have the container of bubbles out in addition to the first-then schedule, and show it to your child.

Finally, walk through the first-then experience in real time. Say “first, get shoes. Then, bubbles!” while pointing at the pictures or words. Help your child complete the “first” task as needed. Then, do the “then” task with them. And you’re done!

What’s next?

Once your child gets the hang of the first-then schedule, they will start to give you cues, such as pointing to the pictures themselves, or demonstrating excitement when it’s time for the “then” activity. As your child begins to demonstrate these cues, you can look for additional opportunities to use the first-then schedule, and build on the activities you already incorporated with harder, more difficult, and more lengthy “first” activities.

However, make sure you continue to monitor your child’s engagement with the “then” activities, too. Chances are, if their excitement and enjoyment of the “then” activity starts to fade, a disengagement with regards to the “first” activities might be next. To help with this, you can incorporate multiple “then” activities and consistently change them up based on your child’s current favorite things. 

Now, you’re ready to try first-then schedules with your family!

ABCs Of Things To Do With LEGOs

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26 Expert Ideas To Use LEGOs in Facilitated Play

The holidays are a great time to brush up on your play nurturing skills. You’ll probably get an influx of new toys into your home. You’ll likely wonder where you’ll put them all or how you’ll support your child to manage new sources of sensory stimulation. After you have everything organized and sorted, you might feel too exhausted to play!

Facilitated play is one of the primary ways children with autism can learn from their environment. In facilitated play, you as the parent play with your child to help them learn how to play with new toys, or do new things with toys they already have. However, structuring play with open-ended toys like LEGOs is hard to do. You may draw a blank the second you sit down to play with your child. And, it can be extra tricky to keep children with autism engaged in an activity for long enough to make it feel worth it.

Parents need quick solutions for facilitating play that are easy to remember in the moment. The more simple strategies you have in your toolbox, the more flexible you can be in facilitating play that is fun and educational. Meaningful play doesn’t have to feel hard. 

One of the most popular toys your child might receive this Christmas are LEGOs. LEGOs can be difficult to keep track of and painful if you step on a stray brick, but they are also an incredible source of skill building opportunities for children with autism. Here’s our alphabet of strategies for playing with LEGOs:

A. Attach bricks for your child. At first, LEGOs might present too much of a fine motor challenge for your child to put them together independently. Encourage your child to practice their pincer grasp by picking up individual pieces and handing them to you. Then attach them yourself and show them what you made. 

B. Classic brick style LEGOs are great for beginners. It’s OK if the kit or set you have has other types and shapes of pieces as well. But start by showing how basic rectangular and square pieces can fit together. 

C. Color coding is optional. Sorting LEGO pieces by color can be really fun for some kids. You can use this type of play to teach colors, counting, comparison (light blue vs. dark blue, et cetera), collaboration (“let’s build a gray house together”), confidence (“you did a great job collecting all the yellow pieces together!”), concepts (“there are only a few pink bricks, but there are a lot of blue ones”), and mental calculations (“there are three red bricks here; there are two red bricks over by the couch – that means we have five red bricks”). However, you don’t have to color code LEGOs for storage – if it’s too time consuming to do so, keep all the bricks together in an under-bed plastic storage container. 

D. Define nouns, verbs, and abstract concepts as you go. “I’m going to build a car. A car is a type of vehicle. Other types are planes and trains. I will put the wheels on first. The wheels make the car go. It will be hard because I have to fit each wheel onto the bar, and click the bars onto the bottom of my car.”

E. Extra pieces from LEGO sets that are assembled according to the instruction packet can be used to build small creative structures. This is a great way to encourage generative building skills in addition to following prescribed steps. Or, they can be added into your general LEGO storage bin for later use during generative building play. 

F. Following directions from kits with instruction sets is a great way to build structure into what would otherwise be open-ended play. But, if you are not playing with a kit and are building creatively with a random assortment of LEGOs, you can still work on following directions. Practice giving your child a variety of basic instructions, helping them follow them as part of play, and giving them specific praise for the direction they followed. 

G. LEGOs can grow with you and your child. Start with Duplos if traditional LEGOs are too hard to manipulate. Give as much help as your child needs at first. If they want to spend the entire playtime watching you build something, that’s great!

H. Higher is just the beginning. Yes, building towers is a great beginner skill to practice with LEGOs. But if your child has mastered that task, experiment with other structures, like houses, pools, launchpads, vehicles, farms, and oceans.

I. Increase independence gradually. Break down the steps and help your child with them, or do all but one step. For example, have them give you the piece while you put it on. Or put the piece loosely on the other piece and show them how to press it so it clicks fully into place.

J. Junior LEGOs are a great intermediary product to use in between Duplos and traditional LEGOs. They are a little bigger and easier to attach and take apart than traditional LEGOs, but more advanced than Duplos. 

K. Keep extra pieces in a general or miscellaneous container. Pieces that are superfluous one day might be critical the next.

L. Longer is not better. Short bursts of play can maximize your child’s motivation to practice new skills. End the play session early enough so you both feel successful. Start with five or ten minutes, and expand from there.

M. Practice crossing the midline. Help your child assemble pieces directly in front of them so that both hands are working together and crossing the invisible “line” in the middle of their body. Encourage them to reach across to their opposite side to get a certain piece. This helps them develop body awareness and practice motor planning. 

N. Narrate what you are doing. Keep up a running commentary of what you and your child are doing, even if you’re not yet building a structure. “You put the red piece over there. I am going to look for a piece with six dots. You have a lot of pieces in a pile. Maybe a six dot piece is in that pile!”

O. Bricks don’t have to be organized. You can organize as part of your play session if your child likes to do that. Beyond keeping LEGOs together in one place without other types of toys getting mixed in, there is no need to categorize them further unless you want to.

P. Prepositions are perfect to practice during LEGO play. Up, under, in, out, down, on top, over, through, around, inside – the possibilities to talk about and demonstrate these concepts are endless!

Q. Quell the urge to direct play to go in a certain way. Follow your child’s lead and adjust your expectations in the moment. Facilitate with flexibility, not rigidity.

R. Respect your child’s wishes if they want to keep a structure built after playtime is over. Displaying LEGO structures for a few days after they’re done promotes confidence. Your child will experience permanence as well as ephemerality related to play experiences.

S. Keep it simple! You don’t have to do more than attach two pieces to each other to successfully build with LEGOs. And, if your child shows you they would prefer to play with their LEGOs alone, that’s OK too. You can also build next to each other without talking sometimes, as an alternative to all of the above ideas. Follow your child’s preference.

T. Take turns adding pieces to a collaborative structure. Practice taking turns with pieces, too. Ask your child for a certain piece and help them give it to you – then reverse the roles. 

U. Undo structures with as much reverence as you build them. Taking things apart shows kids how things work. When you detach LEGO pieces, you can demonstrate the function each piece served. For example, take apart a LEGO car to show how the wheels made it go.

V. Incorporate variety into play by building ten different structures that each have a different amount of pieces, or build with all yellow pieces one day and all gray pieces the next day. Use only pieces that are on the right side of the bin, or build what the inside of a rocket ship would look like instead of the outside. 

W. When you’ve run out of ideas of what to build or how to play, think about the 5 Ws: Who, what, where, when, and why. You can also use the 5 Ws to help you come up with ideas of what to say to narrate play.

X. Exercise pre-academic skills and concepts, like counting with one-to-one correspondence by touching each piece as you count, or identifying colors and asking your child to find a piece that is that color.

Y. Say yes to your child’s ideas. If they want to build something you think will be too hard, identify a productive alternative. Example: “I want to build a kitchen.” “OK. Let’s start with building a stove.”

Z. Use zones to organize play. This is especially helpful if you have multiple children. Identify a space for collaborative play, a space for each person’s independent play, a space for “discards,” and a space for display.