Travel plans sidelined?  What now?

There are many benefits to staying home for vacation.  You can control your environment, which is important if you have a child with special needs.  You get to decide what to do while staying in the comfort of your own home. You save money. Don’t have to deal with crowded airports.   

So you see the plus side of a staycation.  Still not sure how to fill your days? You can turn your staycation into a vacation!  Here are five staycation ideas you need to try!

Theme Days

Pick a theme for each day of the week and do activities around that theme.  Here are some ideas:

• Beach Day:  Wear beach gear, play with kinetic sand, set up a kiddie pool indoors, watch a beach themed movie
• Fiesta Day:  Have a pinata, taco party, salsa dance party
• Pirate Day: Scavenger hunt for gold coins, decorate eye patches, dress up like pirates, 
• Science Museum Day:  Go on a virtual science museum tour, checkout Pinterest for science experiments, make your own slime or oobleck

Movie Day

Brighten up a rainy day with a movie marathon!  Here is a way to make the day fun:

• Make an at-home “movie theater” with chairs or pillows and turn off lights
• Serve popcorn, candy and soda 

A Day At The Park

Turn your backyard into a park!  Here are some ideas to make backyard play more exciting:

• If you have a play structure turn it into a ninja course or set up an obstacle course and have races.
• Play backyard games like bean bag toss, relay races, or ladder golf
• If it’s nice out set up a splash pad with kiddie pool, sprinklers and hoses

Olympic Day

Set up a day of sporting activities:

• Go for a bike ride
• Basketball shooting contest
• Soccer shoot out–shoot goals into a net
• Play a game of catch or home run derby

Camping

Turn your yard into a camping excursion!  

• Pitch a tent
• Build a campfire in a fire ring–roast marshmallows and hotdogs
• Go to a park with hiking trails and take in a hike

Staying home for vacation can be just as fun and relaxing. Try these five staycation ideas and you will feel like you’re traveling the world!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

Do you have a youngster that struggles with emotional regulation?  Do they have a hard time handling their feelings?

Emotions and autism go together like oil and water.  They don’t mix well. Kids on the spectrum have difficulty recognizing and regulating emotions. That doesn’t mean you can’t make it work. 

With some spices and seasonings, you can mix great salad dressings out of oil and water.  Same with emotions and autism. With a few extra ingredients, like a feelings chart, you can teach a kid with ASD how to handle their feelings and understand emotional regulation. 

Try out this fun feelings color chart with your child to teach them emotional recognition in three easy steps.

Feelings Color Chart

I used to use this emotional regulation activity in different social skills groups.  Understanding feelings in self and others is an important part to learning how to interact with friends.  This lesson greatly helped teach kids how to handle feelings.

Materials Needed:

• 8×11 paper
• Markers: Red, Yellow, Green, Blue Purple
• Pen

1. Create Feelings Color Chart

First step create the feelings color chart:

• With pen draw a vertical line down the middle of the sheet
• At top of paper in left hand column write “When I Feel”
• At top of paper in right hand column write “I Can Do”
• At the left side of the paper write out color names down the side of the sheet spaced several inches apart 
• Optional draw a horizontal line to separate each color and to make boxes for the columns

2. Label “When I Feel”

Second step label the feelings under the emotion column to go with the following colors:

• Red=angry, upset, frustrated, yelling/hitting, out of control
• Yellow=frustrated, worried, silly, excited, some loss of control
• Green=happy, calm, okay, focused, ready to listen
• Blue=sad, sick, tired, bored, moving slowly
• Purple=shy, confused, nervous, scared

3. Label “I Can Do”

Third, write down actions your child can take to get regulated in the “I can do” column.  I highly recommend sitting with your kid for this step and either have them come up with ideas or go over suggestions with them.  Ideas will vary depending on what works for your youngster. The following is an example:

• Red=take a break, count to 10, take deep breaths
• Yellow=go for a walk, jump on trampoline, squeeze stress ball
• Green=work on homework, read a book, do a chore
• Blue=ask for help, hug a stuffed animal, take a break
• Purple=use calming kit, draw a picture, listen to calming music

And that’s it!  You have a great feelings color chart to use with your kiddo.

Using The Feelings Color Chart

Here are some easy tips to follow to teach emotional regulation in three easy steps using the feelings color chart.

1.  Review Feelings Color Chart

• Review emotion definitions under “When I Feel” column
• Practice the actions under “I can do” column when your child is feeling good

2. Use Feelings Color Chart As A Visual

• Hang feelings color chart up in an easy to see spot
• When your child is expressing emotions on the chart refer to the visual
• Point out feeling and coach your child on choices of actions he or she can do to get regulated

3. Check-In With Child Using Feelings Color Chart

• During normal transitions, like waking up or getting home from school, check-in with your child using the chart
• Ask your child, “how are you feeling?” or “what color are you feeling now?”
• Child can either tell you or point to the color that matches to how they are feeling
• Help your child find the action they can take to help them get regulated

With the help of the feelings color chart you will be able to teach emotional regulation in three easy steps!

If you need help teaching emotions to your kids be check out this fun emotion flash card activity!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

Tough times happen.  Sometimes they are expected other times they are not.  Illness, job loss, death of a loved one, all are hard to deal with!  Kids may not always understand what is going on when your family goes through tough times.

How Do You Talk To Your Kids About Tough Times?

You might be wondering if you should say anything at all.  Pretend it’s not happening. Kids are smarter than we think they are.  They can pick up on stress in the house. Don’t leave them guessing. It’s okay to tell them what’s going on.

Social Stories To The Rescue!

Social stories are a great tool to help kids learn about what’s going on.  Keep reading for tips on how to talk to your kids about tough times and a social story that helps you do that!

Tips To Talk To Your Kids About Tough Times

When it comes to talking to our kids about tough times it’s normal to not know what to say.  Will my child understand? How much should I tell them? Sometimes we don’t always know what is going on.  It’s stressful trying to be strong for our kids.

To ease the stress of talking to kids about hard situations try the following:

• Keep language simple instead of a lot of details
• Use specific examples rather than vague information
• Give the information they need to know
• Tell them what they can expect to go through and what they won’t go through
• Offer reassurance
• Try to answer their questions as best you can
• Label feelings that they might feel

Social Story For Tough Times

Here is a little social story to help you as you talk with your child about tough times.  You can fill in the blanks so the story fits your situation.

1. Sometimes bad things can happen.  Our family is dealing with ___________(insert situation.) This is called a tough time. You may not know what to think or feel.
2. It can be scary to go through a tough time.  You may feel sad, confused or scared. It’s okay to feel this way.
3. When you feel this way it’s okay to talk about it.  Tell someone you love when you feel sad, confused or scared.  They can help you with your feelings.
4. Peope who can help you are  __________(insert name of persons who can help), _________, or _____________.
5. You can do things so you don’t feel sad confused or scared.  You can turn off the TV or stop googling things. You can do things that make you feel calm and happy.
6. Things that make you calm and happy are ________(list favorite calming activities), __________, or ____________.
7. There are people who are helping with ___________(insert situation) too.
8. ______________(insert name of person or profession like doctor) is working hard to help our family.
9. You will be okay and soon ________ (insert situation) will go away.

Tough times are never easy for anyone.  Talking to kids about tough times isn’t easy either.  If you’re stressed about it, go easy on yourself. This social story will make talking about tough times with your kids a whole lot easier.

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

Schools out for the summer!  Now what?

Before you know it summer will be here and school will be out.  That means a lot more freedom to fill your days. How can you make the change easy on your kids?

To ease the transition here are some tips to help those long lazy days of summer not feel so long.

Scheduled Summer Activities

Having a break from a 7 hour school day is nice in the summer.  With the warmer sunny days, kids want to be outside and have fun.  They don’t always know how to fill their time though. Luckily scheduled activities are a great way to keep boredom away. Most activities keep kids learning through the summer too.  

It can be hard finding things for your kid with autism though.  Not all programs can handle kids with special needs. Staff don’t have the training or the spaces aren’t the best environment.  There are options out there though. Here are some ideas to look at:

• Summer school classes through your school district
• Summer programs at children’s therapy clinics
• Sensory friendly activities at local libraries or museums
• Day camps that offer 1:1 staff for kids with special needs
• Adaptive sports activities
• Swim lessons with smaller class size 
• Sensory friendly sports like gymnastics, ninja warrior, martial arts or swimming

Create A Summer Routine At Home

Several of my past clients had difficulty in the first few weeks of summer.  They went from having a regular routine at school to nothing. It’s common to think kids will go with the flow and just throw them into the mix.

Kids on the spectrum need a routine.  While you don’t need to follow a strict schedule it is a good idea to make your day predictable. That way your child will know what to expect and can help your day run smoothly.   Here are some ideas to create a regular routine at home:

• Wake-up at the same time every day
• Follow the same get-ready-for-the-day routine
• Create a flow to your day be scheduling things like screen-time, outdoor time and play-time
• Have designated snack and lunch time 

Summer Break Rules

You probably have certain house rules that are already in place.  You may need to add a few more to the mix. For example at my house screen time isn’t an issue during the school year.  My kids are too busy with school, homework and other activities. When they are home with more free time they need screen time limits.  Summer break rules to consider:

• Limits on amount of snacks
• Screen time
• Designate boundaries for riding bikes, walks and playing outside 
• Daily reading or learning activity time
• Implement chores

Summer Chores

Messes can pile up when kids are home for the summer.  They also want and need things throughout the day. We can clean up after them and wait on them hand and foot and drive ourselves crazy.  Or we can teach them responsibility and the concept of pitching in and helping out.

Giving kids more responsibility is a great way to keep them learning in the summer.  It’s a good idea to keep the tasks simple and age-appropriate. Assign duties that you know your kids can complete without issues. Here are some simple chores kids can do:

• Make bed
• Put dirty clothes in the wash
• Pick out own clothes
• Clear dishes after snacks or meals
• Pick-up toys at end of the day
• Water flowers or garden
• Help put groceries away
• Set the table

Summer Visuals

To help you keep everything organized use visuals so you and your kids can refer to it. Teachers post things so kids know how to use them.  Visuals are also reinforcing for kids with autism. Here are some ideas for visuals: 

• Daily schedule
• Summer Rules
• Chore chart
• Getting ready for the day checklist

One visual I like is a “when can I have screen time” sign.  Last summer I implemented this visual to let my kids know when they could have screen time.  I listed things they needed to do before they got screen time. The list included getting ready for the day, playing with a toy, playing outside,  reading, and completing a chore.   

Incentive Program

Rewarding kids for good behavior and helping out is a great thing to have in the summer.  Getting praise for doing good things and motivation to help out makes everyone happy.

You can keep rewards simple like an ice cream outing, trip to a favorite park or pick out a toy from the dollar store.

A reward program I did with a social skills group I ran in the summer  was the “Filler Up Cup.” I drew 3 lines around a cup. My children got a bead to put in the cup for doing good things. I gave them beads for showing random acts of kindness, completing activities and or having a great day.  As the cup got filled up to each line they got a reward. Other incentive programs include:

• Sticker chart
• Give treat tickets or vouchers
• Extra screen time
• Pick favorite meal or restaurant
• Date day with mom or dad

With any of these ideas, there is room for flexibility.  You don’t have to follow schedules to-a-tea. Impromptu plans come up.  Some days might be rough and you need to lower expectations. Or it’s a rainy day and the best thing to do is have a movie marathon and eat popcorn all day.  

You will have an awesome summer trying these 6 effective strategies!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

Instead of feeling like it’s one more thing to add to your to-do list try these tips instead!

As parents of kids with autism or other special needs it’s easy to put yourself on the back burner. You give of yourself to others all day long there’s not much time left for anything else.

You hear the term “self-care.” You know it’s important to give yourself a break.  As a special needs parent how can you fit in caring for yourself? If you practice self-care usually another area gets backlogged.  It can be hard to find childcare. It just seems like too much work.

Do you have these thoughts when you think of self-care?

Today I will share with you some tips to help you practice self-care when you’re short on time.  These self-care tips will help you easily work some me-time into your day without feeling like it’s a big sacrifice.

Self-Care In The Little Things

What does self-care look like?  Getting a massage, going out for a nice adult-only dinner, a weekend getaway.  These are all great forms of self-care. They aren’t the only way to take a break though.

Self-care can be practiced in smaller ways too.  Simple is better! Instead of making it a big production try these little self-care ideas:

Sleep When You Want To:

Are you exhausted at the end of the day and feel like you just want to crash when everyone else is in bed.  Do it! Do you set your alarm extra early but want to sleep in an extra 15 minutes? Sleep in! Give yourself permission to sleep.  Rest is a form of self-care. The laundry, grocery lists, or checking emails can wait. Or compromise, do one priority task and then go to sleep.

Eat What You Want To:

Cooking dinner is a daily task.  Why not fix one of your favorite meals once in a while? Eating your favorite food is a form of self-care.  Doesn’t have to be fancy either. If you love frozen pizza pop one in the oven! You may not get to eat out whenever you want so take time to eat something you love when you’re staying in.

Exercise Anyway You Want To:

Exercise is obviously a great form of self-care. If you have kids with special needs you may not be able to get to the gym or leave the house.  Exercise doesn’t have to be just lifting weights or a 3 mile run. Any type of movement is exercise. Helping your kid with sensory activities? Make that your workout!  Kids love to dance? Have a 15 minute dance party together. Going to the park? Go for a walk to get there. As long as you find ways to get your heart thumping you are practicing self-care through exercise!

Other Ways To Practice Self-Care:

• Take an extra 5 minutes in your shower
• Listen to your favorite songs while driving in the car
• Reset with a game on your phone for 5 minutes
• Wear your favorite outfit
• Instead of daily to-do lists make weekly to-do lists so you have several days to get things done instead of just one

Self-Care=Community Care

Have you heard the quote “Shouting ‘self-care’ at people who actually need community care is how we fail people.” by Nakita Valerio? It seems like all people need to do is practice self-care and we’ll be fine.  It’s not that easy, especially for special needs parents. 

Rethink self-care.  Don’t think you need to live life alone.  One of the best forms of self-care is reaching out to others and building a community.  Here are some tips to help you do that.

Know Who To Ask For Help:

Who are the trusted people in your life you know you can count on?  If you don’t have family or friends nearby do you know what services you can seek?  If not ask your child’s school social worker, therapist or doctor. They can connect you to things like respite programs, transportation providers or specially trained daycare providers.

Ask For Help:

Sometimes people don’t offer help because they don’t know a person needs help.  While it would be nice if people freely held out a helping hand it doesn’t always work that way.  There is no shame in letting someone you know you need help.  

Simple requests for carpooling, baby-sitting, or respite will relieve you of the burden of always being on call.  It will help you get out of the house to run necessary errands or do something you enjoy.  

You don’t have to ask for outside help either.  Delegating chores to people in your household who are able to, can make a big difference.  Sharing the load gives you time to focus on other important things.

Call On Other So You Can Do Big Self-Care: 

There are times you should have an evening out or a day of pampering.  When you call on others to fill in for you these bigger self-care activities will be more enjoyable.  Here are some tips to help you plan for it:

• Plan ahead as best you can.  Things come up, but even still plan ahead. 
• Pick a time that isn’t a busy time.  Are times more hectic than others? Go during a downtime.
• Ask a person or service you trust and have used before.  Placing your kids and responsibilities into the hands of someone you trust will help you enjoy your time away.
• Clearly communicate things you’d like to see or need to get accomplished while you’re out.  You don’t need to come home to a messy house or worry about your kids not getting something they need just because you’re gone.  Put your helper to work!

Self-care can feel like a chore to many special needs parents.  You have unique circumstances. You can’t go off and do something whenever you want.  You have many things to take care of. You might be tired and it’s too much work to get self-care into your life.

Finding self-care in the little things and calling on your community are the best ways to practice self-care when you’re short on time.  Using these tips will help you feel great so you can take care of your family!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

One of the key characteristics of autism is difficulty with social skills and communication.  To improve friendship-making skills parents usually enroll their kid in a social skills group.  It seems like a logical thing to do.

In my years as a therapist, I’ve seen kids do well and other kids do not so well in a social skills group.

Social skills groups are great for kids with ASD but you don’t want it to backfire!

Social Skills Groups:  Are they right for your child?

Here is a guideline to help you decide if your kid is ready for a social skills group. You will also find tips to prepare them for group sessions and learn how to help them have a good experience.

What Do Social Skills Groups Do

People with autism can struggle with social skills. Contributing factors include sensory issues, not interpreting nonverbal cues, speech delays or not showing interest in others. 

The good news is that kids can learn social skills.  It takes a bit more support and guidance but kids can learn to talk with others and make friends.

Social skills groups are a tool often used to learn social skills.  Groups usually are small in size with kids around the same age. Groups are lead by several therapists.

During group time kids learn simple skills like greeting each other and asking to play.  They also learn how to take turns, share toys, and pretend play through group activities. Groups also teach how to be aware of others and process social interactions. 

Usually, the group follows the same routine so it is predictable. They have access to things to help them get regulated for group time and have breaks. Kids also have goals to work towards. 

Is Your Child Ready For A Social Skills Group

Kids can be great teachers for each other.  Adults do a good job of showing youngsters how to do things like greet people or pretend play.  There’s something about being around others that are your same age though. Grown-ups can’t imitate that!

Kids learning to socialize together seems like the natural thing to do when they lack social skills.  So how can you tell if your child is ready to attend a social skills group?  

• Child shows an interest in others, especially kids
• Your son or daughter talks to others
• He or she can be left with others without any issues of you being gone

If your child likes to be around people or expresses wanting to make friends a social skills group is a good fit for them.  They might not know how to approach a kid on the playground or only stick to certain topics when talking to others. A social skills group can help improve their people skills.

On the other hand, you might want your kid to make friends but they may:

• Not show any interest in people
• Be anxious if left in a group without you
• Prefers to play with their high-interest activities and not kids

These may be signs that your child is not quite ready for a social skills group.  If this is the case it might be best to wait. That’s not to say your child can’t go to a group eventually.  They may need to work on some social skills 1:1 with you or a therapist at home before going out into the community.

It is advisable to send your kid to a social skills group when it’s a comfortable situation for them.  That way it will fun and enjoyable rather than dreaded.

Preparing For Social Group

Most kids that are ready to go to a social group look forward to it and have fun.  It’s a safe environment to be with other kids!  

It’s still good to help your prepare your child for their social group so they have a great experience.  These tips can set your kid up for success:

• Meet with the group leaders before the social group sessions start and check out the space.
• Talk with the group leaders about goals for your child and tips that help your kid have a good experience.
• Ask the group leaders about group routine, visuals, and regulation breaks and what to expect so you can talk to your kid about it.
• Write a social story about starting a social skills group.
• Send any helpful tools with your child to group like a calming kit, noise-canceling headphones, or snack.

How To Have A Good Social Skills Group Experience

Once your kiddo starts group they will be learning many new things.  From new faces to being challenged to try new things your child might be pushed out of their comfort zone.

It can be hard to go into a room full of strangers.  Talking to others can be uncomfortable. Sharing toys isn’t always fun.

On the other hand, your child will come to enjoy being with other friends that are similar to them.  They will build trust with their group leader. You will find them becoming better talkers with you, siblings and classmates.

To help your child make the most of their time in a social skills group try:

• Talk to the group leaders about skills covered during the session so you can talk about or practice them at home.
• Ask the group leader about new things that will be taught the next week to prepare your child.
• If your child is struggling come up with a plan with the group leader so your child feels safe and supported.  For example, if your child starts getting overwhelmed when things get noisy instruct your child to put hands up to ears to signal to the group leader that it’s too noisy. The group leader can assist your child to find a quiet spot in the room for a break.
• Check-in with your kid about how they feel about the group, friends s/he is making or things they like and don’t like.

There are many benefits to going to a social skills group.  Your kid can learn about different social cues and practice friendship-making skills.  If your child is ready a social skills group will be a great experience!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.