Do you get nervous when you and your child with autism are invited to a playdate? Do you want to do things like go to the zoo, visit the aquarium, or even pick up groceries from your local supermarket, but feel like you can’t prevent your autistic child from doing something unpredictable during an outing like these? Do you worry about what will happen when your child grows older and bigger, and they don’t have experience following simple instructions in the community?

Teaching safety skills to autistic children is hard to do. But the good news is that the more your child practices, the more accustomed they will become to following safety instructions from an adult. In this article, we will discuss a basic step-by-step process for teaching this skill to your child with autism.

Start With A Baseline

The first step to teaching safety skills to your child with autism is to not teach anything at all. This is because you first need to know what they can do before you can know what to teach them. To find out what safety skills your child already has, you need to test their skills in a low risk environment, such as an enclosed flat park, a fenced yard, or an empty gymnasium.

Start with simple directions like “stop,” “wait,” “come back,” and “hands to self.” That last one can be hard to test out if there is nothing or no one around that your child wants to touch or explore, so you may have to test it out in different settings and on different occasions.

Try not to provide negative feedback if your child doesn’t follow the directions. Remember, this is just to test out what they know. However, if they get it right, certainly shower them with praise and attention.

Practice In A Safe Setting

Once you know which directions your child can follow consistently and which they can’t, you’re ready to start teaching and practicing. You can practice in the same environment you used to test out their skills, but you also may want to branch out a little. While you’re still in practice mode, make a list of safe settings that are fun, too. Better yet, suggest these locations the next time another parent initiates a playdate.

Safe settings are typically enclosed or separate from urban areas if they are outdoors, and child-friendly if they are indoors. For example, many local zoos are a great option, as their walking paths are wide and bounded by fences and trees, and there is no traffic. Zoos are ideal during the off season or off hours of the day so that you don’t have to deal with crowds. Some other common examples that you may find in your community include indoor play spaces where the sensory input is not too high, such as indoor bounce play areas or play cafes for younger children, your local shopping mall (again, during off hours is best), rec centers with designated activity or play areas, children’s gyms during scheduled open gyms, children’s museums, and local farms. You may know this last one as the pumpkin patch, but check their websites as some farms offer entrance and programming during the spring and summer, too.

Gradually Increase Expectations

Remember, teaching safety skills to your autistic child is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll want to increase your expectations very gradually, all the while providing as many practice opportunities as you can for basic instructions when you’re in your trusted, safe environments. When you’re ready to try a new environment, make your trip short, and keep your expectations low. That way you can ensure a successful short trip – and maybe the next time, you can add ten more minutes onto the outing. Increase expectations gradually ensures you and your child continue to build positive experiences in the community that are safe and fun.

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA Courtney is a behavior analyst, educator, and writer in the Pacific Northwest. She has over fifteen years of experience in the field of autism services, and over ten years of master’s level experience in classroom teaching and ABA therapy. Her areas of expertise include infant and toddler development, parent coaching, ABA clinical leadership and training, P-12 special education, and case consultation for children and young adults with autism and other special needs. Courtney lives in Seattle with her husband and two children.

Instead of feeling like it’s one more thing to add to your to-do list try these tips instead!

As parents of kids with autism or other special needs it’s easy to put yourself on the back burner. You give of yourself to others all day long there’s not much time left for anything else.

You hear the term “self-care.” You know it’s important to give yourself a break.  As a special needs parent how can you fit in caring for yourself? If you practice self-care usually another area gets backlogged.  It can be hard to find childcare. It just seems like too much work.

Do you have these thoughts when you think of self-care?

Today I will share with you some tips to help you practice self-care when you’re short on time.  These self-care tips will help you easily work some me-time into your day without feeling like it’s a big sacrifice.

Self-Care In The Little Things

What does self-care look like?  Getting a massage, going out for a nice adult-only dinner, a weekend getaway.  These are all great forms of self-care. They aren’t the only way to take a break though.

Self-care can be practiced in smaller ways too.  Simple is better! Instead of making it a big production try these little self-care ideas:

Sleep When You Want To:

Are you exhausted at the end of the day and feel like you just want to crash when everyone else is in bed.  Do it! Do you set your alarm extra early but want to sleep in an extra 15 minutes? Sleep in! Give yourself permission to sleep.  Rest is a form of self-care. The laundry, grocery lists, or checking emails can wait. Or compromise, do one priority task and then go to sleep.

Eat What You Want To:

Cooking dinner is a daily task.  Why not fix one of your favorite meals once in a while? Eating your favorite food is a form of self-care.  Doesn’t have to be fancy either. If you love frozen pizza pop one in the oven! You may not get to eat out whenever you want so take time to eat something you love when you’re staying in.

Exercise Anyway You Want To:

Exercise is obviously a great form of self-care. If you have kids with special needs you may not be able to get to the gym or leave the house.  Exercise doesn’t have to be just lifting weights or a 3 mile run. Any type of movement is exercise. Helping your kid with sensory activities? Make that your workout!  Kids love to dance? Have a 15 minute dance party together. Going to the park? Go for a walk to get there. As long as you find ways to get your heart thumping you are practicing self-care through exercise!

Other Ways To Practice Self-Care:

• Take an extra 5 minutes in your shower
• Listen to your favorite songs while driving in the car
• Reset with a game on your phone for 5 minutes
• Wear your favorite outfit
• Instead of daily to-do lists make weekly to-do lists so you have several days to get things done instead of just one

Self-Care=Community Care

Have you heard the quote “Shouting ‘self-care’ at people who actually need community care is how we fail people.” by Nakita Valerio? It seems like all people need to do is practice self-care and we’ll be fine.  It’s not that easy, especially for special needs parents. 

Rethink self-care.  Don’t think you need to live life alone.  One of the best forms of self-care is reaching out to others and building a community.  Here are some tips to help you do that.

Know Who To Ask For Help:

Who are the trusted people in your life you know you can count on?  If you don’t have family or friends nearby do you know what services you can seek?  If not ask your child’s school social worker, therapist or doctor. They can connect you to things like respite programs, transportation providers or specially trained daycare providers.

Ask For Help:

Sometimes people don’t offer help because they don’t know a person needs help.  While it would be nice if people freely held out a helping hand it doesn’t always work that way.  There is no shame in letting someone you know you need help.  

Simple requests for carpooling, baby-sitting, or respite will relieve you of the burden of always being on call.  It will help you get out of the house to run necessary errands or do something you enjoy.  

You don’t have to ask for outside help either.  Delegating chores to people in your household who are able to, can make a big difference.  Sharing the load gives you time to focus on other important things.

Call On Other So You Can Do Big Self-Care: 

There are times you should have an evening out or a day of pampering.  When you call on others to fill in for you these bigger self-care activities will be more enjoyable.  Here are some tips to help you plan for it:

• Plan ahead as best you can.  Things come up, but even still plan ahead. 
• Pick a time that isn’t a busy time.  Are times more hectic than others? Go during a downtime.
• Ask a person or service you trust and have used before.  Placing your kids and responsibilities into the hands of someone you trust will help you enjoy your time away.
• Clearly communicate things you’d like to see or need to get accomplished while you’re out.  You don’t need to come home to a messy house or worry about your kids not getting something they need just because you’re gone.  Put your helper to work!

Self-care can feel like a chore to many special needs parents.  You have unique circumstances. You can’t go off and do something whenever you want.  You have many things to take care of. You might be tired and it’s too much work to get self-care into your life.

Finding self-care in the little things and calling on your community are the best ways to practice self-care when you’re short on time.  Using these tips will help you feel great so you can take care of your family!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

One of the key characteristics of autism is difficulty with social skills and communication.  To improve friendship-making skills parents usually enroll their kid in a social skills group.  It seems like a logical thing to do.

In my years as a therapist, I’ve seen kids do well and other kids do not so well in a social skills group.

Social skills groups are great for kids with ASD but you don’t want it to backfire!

Social Skills Groups:  Are they right for your child?

Here is a guideline to help you decide if your kid is ready for a social skills group. You will also find tips to prepare them for group sessions and learn how to help them have a good experience.

What Do Social Skills Groups Do

People with autism can struggle with social skills. Contributing factors include sensory issues, not interpreting nonverbal cues, speech delays or not showing interest in others. 

The good news is that kids can learn social skills.  It takes a bit more support and guidance but kids can learn to talk with others and make friends.

Social skills groups are a tool often used to learn social skills.  Groups usually are small in size with kids around the same age. Groups are lead by several therapists.

During group time kids learn simple skills like greeting each other and asking to play.  They also learn how to take turns, share toys, and pretend play through group activities. Groups also teach how to be aware of others and process social interactions. 

Usually, the group follows the same routine so it is predictable. They have access to things to help them get regulated for group time and have breaks. Kids also have goals to work towards. 

Is Your Child Ready For A Social Skills Group

Kids can be great teachers for each other.  Adults do a good job of showing youngsters how to do things like greet people or pretend play.  There’s something about being around others that are your same age though. Grown-ups can’t imitate that!

Kids learning to socialize together seems like the natural thing to do when they lack social skills.  So how can you tell if your child is ready to attend a social skills group?  

• Child shows an interest in others, especially kids
• Your son or daughter talks to others
• He or she can be left with others without any issues of you being gone

If your child likes to be around people or expresses wanting to make friends a social skills group is a good fit for them.  They might not know how to approach a kid on the playground or only stick to certain topics when talking to others. A social skills group can help improve their people skills.

On the other hand, you might want your kid to make friends but they may:

• Not show any interest in people
• Be anxious if left in a group without you
• Prefers to play with their high-interest activities and not kids

These may be signs that your child is not quite ready for a social skills group.  If this is the case it might be best to wait. That’s not to say your child can’t go to a group eventually.  They may need to work on some social skills 1:1 with you or a therapist at home before going out into the community.

It is advisable to send your kid to a social skills group when it’s a comfortable situation for them.  That way it will fun and enjoyable rather than dreaded.

Preparing For Social Group

Most kids that are ready to go to a social group look forward to it and have fun.  It’s a safe environment to be with other kids!  

It’s still good to help your prepare your child for their social group so they have a great experience.  These tips can set your kid up for success:

• Meet with the group leaders before the social group sessions start and check out the space.
• Talk with the group leaders about goals for your child and tips that help your kid have a good experience.
• Ask the group leaders about group routine, visuals, and regulation breaks and what to expect so you can talk to your kid about it.
• Write a social story about starting a social skills group.
• Send any helpful tools with your child to group like a calming kit, noise-canceling headphones, or snack.

How To Have A Good Social Skills Group Experience

Once your kiddo starts group they will be learning many new things.  From new faces to being challenged to try new things your child might be pushed out of their comfort zone.

It can be hard to go into a room full of strangers.  Talking to others can be uncomfortable. Sharing toys isn’t always fun.

On the other hand, your child will come to enjoy being with other friends that are similar to them.  They will build trust with their group leader. You will find them becoming better talkers with you, siblings and classmates.

To help your child make the most of their time in a social skills group try:

• Talk to the group leaders about skills covered during the session so you can talk about or practice them at home.
• Ask the group leader about new things that will be taught the next week to prepare your child.
• If your child is struggling come up with a plan with the group leader so your child feels safe and supported.  For example, if your child starts getting overwhelmed when things get noisy instruct your child to put hands up to ears to signal to the group leader that it’s too noisy. The group leader can assist your child to find a quiet spot in the room for a break.
• Check-in with your kid about how they feel about the group, friends s/he is making or things they like and don’t like.

There are many benefits to going to a social skills group.  Your kid can learn about different social cues and practice friendship-making skills.  If your child is ready a social skills group will be a great experience!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

This week, we’ve got a roundup of the best products you can get from your local dollar store. As we all know, dollar store purchases can be hit or miss. You might spend 99 cents on something that occupies your child for hours, makes dinner preparation take ten minutes less every night, or solves party planning woes. But you could also end up with a load full of broken plastic knick knacks that are headed straight from your shopping cart to the trash.

I’ve been there, both as a teacher and a parent! So in this post I’m going to share some of my favorite dollar store purchases with you – all based on my own experience. Next time you’re looking for a cheap and easy way to brighten your child’s day, use this list as a handy guide. It will show you what’s a good idea to get from the dollar store and what you might want to spend a little more on elsewhere.

Containers – yes!

Are you always pulling your hair out looking for clear containers to store little knick knacks or small pieces of toys in? Small containers can also be useful for toys on the go that aren’t normally easily packable, like LEGO. Look for containers throughout your local dollar store, including in sections like the toy aisle and the toiletry section. Sometimes you might find the perfect container that already contains something. – You can empty out the pre-filled contents and use it for the item of your choice.

Art Supplies – it depends

Art supplies vary in quality at the dollar store. Often, crayons purchased at the dollar store aren’t satisfying to draw with. You might be better off purchasing that item online or for a few dollars more at Target. But coloring books, glitter paper, construction paper, and other art supplies can be a great buy at the dollar store – especially if you go through them quickly.

Balloons – yes!

Did you know that many dollar stores will fill mylar helium balloons for you, for only a dollar? This is much cheaper than the cost elsewhere – so much so that you don’t have to wait for birthdays to get your child a special balloon anymore. If they love balloons that float when they carry them, you can now affordably add this item to your reinforcer repertoire.

Puzzles – no

Unfortunately, puzzles purchased at the dollar store look very cute, but they are hard to handle. This is especially true for:

– Young children

-Children with autism who struggle with table activities

-Children who struggle with fine motor issues to complete

The pieces are not thick enough to be easily picked up, maneuvered, and placed in their spots. For puzzles, stick with a tried and true brand like Melissa and Doug.

Kitchen supplies – yes!

Do you have a child who loves pretending to cook, or being near you when you are cooking? You can find a large selection of kitchen supplies at the dollar store. Some of them are useful enough that you might find yourself adopting them for your own use. Try finding a pot, a ladle, and an egg timer at your dollar store and see what kinds of pretend play games you and your child can come up with.

Reward Box Items – yes!

Anything from beads to action figures to silly putty can be found at your local dollar store. You’ll also find a wide selection of stickers, play dough, and seasonal or holiday themed items. The dollar store is the perfect place to fill and refill your reward box. This is helpful especially if your child is earning several rewards per day, as part of a first-then system or star chart.

Happy shopping!

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA Courtney is a behavior analyst, educator, and writer in the Pacific Northwest. She has over fifteen years of experience in the field of autism services, and over ten years of master’s level experience in classroom teaching and ABA therapy. Her areas of expertise include infant and toddler development, parent coaching, ABA clinical leadership and training, P-12 special education, and case consultation for children and young adults with autism and other special needs. Courtney lives in Seattle with her husband and two children.

Behavior specific praise, or “BSP” as many autism professionals refer to it, is an extremely useful strategy to make part of your daily conversations and routines. But behavior specific praise doesn’t necessarily come naturally, or happen if you’re not thinking about it. That’s because general praise is usually the first thing that comes to the tip of your tongue when you want to acknowledge that your child did something well, or acted kindly, or met your expectation, or followed an instruction. General praise is the use of phrases like “good job,” “nice work,” or “way to go.”

General praise is a good start. After all, it’s certainly better and more effective to be delivering praise in the first place rather than not at all. You could start monitoring your own use of general praise throughout the day, and chances are you’ll automatically start to do it more, just by thinking about it.

After you’ve got the hang of integrating general praise into your natural conversations and routines at home, it’s a great idea to start converting some of those general praise phrases over to “behavior specific praise.” The concept of behavior specific praise is actually very simple. Here’s what it means:

What You Say Has Power

Research has shown that for children with autism, what happens right after a behavior impacts the likelihood of that behavior happening again at some point in the future. This is called reinforcement. Reinforcement can take many forms. Often for children with autism it involves a small preferred item or a small symbol for a token system that can later be traded in for a preferred item. We know that by combining something with a reinforcer, we can gradually condition that something to become a reinforcer on its own. By using praise statements like “Good job putting the cap back on the pen” at the same time a preferred item is given, we can expect that eventually praise statements will function as a reinforcer themselves.

We also know that attention is a powerful reinforcer on its own for many children with autism. By structuring “attention” to include behavior specific praise statements like “You are working so hard to stay calm right now” we create a reinforcement framework that can be replicated by other adults in the child’s life in addition to parents, such as teachers.

Being Specific in a Situation That’s Not “All Right” or “All Wrong”

Behavior specific praise is also useful when you want to shape your child’s behavior. For example, your child might be learning to eat with a spoon independently, but making a mess at the same time or throwing food on the floor. You could use behavior specific praise to isolate the behavior that you want to encourage by saying “You are doing a great job holding the spoon and scooping food with it to take a bite!”

By looking for the specific behavior that you can praise, and then talking about it, you will increase the opportunities you have to coach your child on what you want them to do.

Modeling and Setting an Example

Behavior specific praise is also a great way to increase the amount and variety of language you are modeling for your young child who is learning to communicate. Think of it as a way to accomplish two goals in one: modeling language about the environment and what’s happening in it, and providing reinforcement for a positive behavior. Additionally, for older children, using behavior specific praise sets an example for how to use positive praise statements with siblings in the home environment and peers in the school environment.

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA Courtney is a behavior analyst, educator, and writer in the Pacific Northwest. She has over fifteen years of experience in the field of autism services, and over ten years of master’s level experience in classroom teaching and ABA therapy. Her areas of expertise include infant and toddler development, parent coaching, ABA clinical leadership and training, P-12 special education, and case consultation for children and young adults with autism and other special needs. Courtney lives in Seattle with her husband and two children.

Sooner or later your kids will become adults.  It goes by in the blink of an eye!

It’s never to early to teach your kids the life skills they need later in life.

Especially when it comes to kids with autism.  It might take extra preparation and practice to get them to grasp the necessary life skills. Start now and give them the foundation they need for when they grow up.

I’ll help you get started with the things you need to teach the life skills your children must have!

What Happens After High School?

You might wonder what your child will do when they complete high school.  Adults with autism are a hot topic right now. There are many great programs geared towards kids on the spectrum, but not enough for young adults.  

Even kids with autism grow up.  Luckily therapy clinics, schools, and social services recognize that.  They are starting to put together programs for young adults. Some focus on job skills and independent living.  Others work on making friends and activities.

What your child will do greatly varies.  Much of it depends on their level of functioning.  

I work with a family with twin teenage boys with ASD.  One has Aspergers, the other is nonverbal. The one boy has plans on going to college and will do well.  His brother will probably attend a program through the school district until he is 21. He will learn life skills and get job training.  Either direction they take will be perfect for them.

The key take-away for thinking about what happens after high school is to point your child in the direction that is best for them.  Give them the life skills and support they need so they will thrive and be happy!

The transition from high school to young adulthood can be overwhelming.  Whether kids go off to college or get job training, it can be hard for kids to learn about cooking, money management or finding friends.

Work with your kids now, while you have them under your wing so that they will succeed in learning life skills.

Must-Have Life Skills For Kids With Autism

Here is a list of must-have life skills I highly recommend.  They are life skills kids can do now and will continue to do as adults. I worked on these things with my clients over the years and will share tips on how to teach these life skills to your kids.

Follow A Routine

You probably have your kids on a routine.  You show them the order of events and they follow it.

But do they know you to make a routine for themselves?  This life skill is essential for them to get through their day as an adult.

To teach them how to make a routine for themselves by:

• Pick a small routine for them to set up, like bed time routine.
• Talk to them about the steps they do to get ready for bed.
• Write out the tasks either in list form or with pictures.
• Let them put the tasks in the order they prefer.  It’s their routine after all.

Basic Chores

Kids always love having things done for them, but sooner or later they need to learn responsibility and complete chores.

Whether your kids will end up living on their own, in a group home or with you, completing household chores is a must-have life skill!  Kids at any level of functioning can learn to complete a chore.

I worked with a child who was fully blind and taught him how to empty the dishwasher, set the table and put groceries away!  We showed him the arrangement of the kitchen, then taught him the steps for each chore. With practice he mastered everything!

To teach them how to complete chores try:

• Pick one doable chore, like setting the table.
• Show the steps of the chore, like first plates, then napkins, etc.
• Have your child work on getting good with one chore before showing them a new one.
• Use visuals or cue cards to look at if needed.
• As your child learns a couple of chores you can create a chore chart for them to follow and earn an allowance…which brings us to the next life-skill.

Handling Money

Basic money skills are something adults should have yet many struggle with.  While setting a budget and paying bills might be advanced for kids, teaching them how to earn and handle money is something they can do now.  Here are some tips for teaching basic money handling life skills.

• Teach them the values of money with either real coins or play money.
• Play coin sorting game with little bowls to sort different coins.
• Give them opportunities to earn and allowance.
• Set up pretend play scenarios and play shopping/store to learn how to buy items with the money they have and make change.
• While at the store try-out the same money handling skills practiced at home.
• Teach them simple budget skills by dividing their money into categories like savings, fun spending money, money for lunch.

Food Preparation

Learning how to cook is a valuable life skill.  Of course, kids don’t have to learn how to make gourmet meals (unless that’s a hobby of theirs.)  Kids can learn their way around the kitchen by making easy snacks and meals. Here are some ideas to help your kids learn how to cook later in life:

• Let them get simple meals for themselves like pouring a bowl of cereal or making toast.
• Packing lunch and making after school snacks is a great intro to making meals.
• Involve kids with picking out meals and make a grocery shopping list.
• Let them help with easy tasks, like pouring pre-measured ingredients into the bowl.
• If you want to teach them how to cut food you can get a plastic knife set that cuts food without the worry of getting hurt.
• Use visuals as needed like a recipe card to help them follow steps.

Shopping Skills

Shopping is a big part of grown-up life.  Some shopping is fun, some of it isn’t, but it’s a good life skill to have.  Kids can learn basic skills with you when you run errands. Here are some ways you can help them learn how to shop:  

• Make a shopping list together.  Teaching them to prepare for the shopping trip so they know what to get when they arrive at the store is a lifesaver.
• Let your child get items off the list at the store.  Show them how to find things and reach for it off the shelf.
• Practice asking for help when you need a sales associate’s assistance.
• Talk about different reasons for shopping like replacing items, buying food, getting new things when they wear out.

These must-have life skills will greatly set your child up for adulthood.  When they reach the age to do more things on their own they will have you to thank.  Your kids will be capable to do the things adults have to handle because they had time to practice life skills. 

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.