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holidays

Survive the Holidays With This Easy To Make Calming Kit

December 9, 2019 by Elizabeth Purpero

girl with calming fidget spinner

The holidays are upon us and with all of the festivities come mixed up routines and travel.  For kids with autism that may mean extra anxiety and stress!

Our youngsters depend upon predictability and stability.  When they are put in an unfamiliar environment it may not always be merry and bright for them.  Thanks to the calming kit though, you and your child will be equipped to cope with any situation that pops up this season.

What is a Calming Kit?  It’s a great little tool I’ve used with many of my clients.  It’s perfect to use when you knowingly are going to a new event or are traveling to a different place.

Keep reading to learn how you can put together a calming kit to help you and your child survive the holidays.

What Is A Calming Kit?

A calming kit essentially is a collection of small items that your child can use to calm down or cope when put in situations or environments that may be upsetting, overwhelming, or stressful.  

Typically there is an object that relates to each of the 5 senses that kids can use to help with self-regulation and sensory input.  Depending on the situation, children can pull out the appropriate item to use or play with as a way to calm down.

Creating A Calming Kit

If your child is old enough, they definitely can help you put it together.  First, start with getting a little tote to keep all of the items. A small drawstring backpack or purse is perfect.

I will provide ideas of calming trinkets, as they correspond with each sense, to help you get an idea of what to put in your child’s kit.  Before we get into that though here are some tips to help you personalize your calming kit.

  • Take inventory of your child’s preferences.  Select items that are either a favorite or you know your child finds calming.
  • You don’t have to include an item for all 5 senses.  For example, if you have a child that is very tactile you may select a variety of tactile toys instead.
  • Have your child help pick out items so they know what is in the calming kit. 
  • If it’s easier for you to select items, show your child what you picked out.

Here are some ideas of toys to use for the Calming Kit:

Visual Toys

  • Sunglasses
  • Liquid motion toys
  • Spinning toys
  • Small puzzle or maze
  • Favorite book

Auditory Toys

  • Noise cancelling headphones
  • Small instrument like a shaker or maraca
  • Rainstick
  • Headphones and device to stream calming music
  • Sound fidget

Tactile Toys

  • Theraputty
  • Small playdough
  • Fidget toy
  • Stress ball
  • Stuffed animal

Oral Sensory Toys

  • Chew toy
  • Small bubbles
  • Pinwheel to blow
  • Bubble Gum

Olfactory Toys

  • Scratch and sniff stickers
  • Scented anything like chew toys, putty, bubbles, crayons
  • Diffuser necklace or bracelet

Additional Items

  • Coloring or activity books
  • Card games
  • Lovey
  • Little toys like cars or balls
  • Snacks

Using The Calming Kit

Before heading out review the items in the calming kit with your child.  Help them see what their options are in the event they need to use it. When you get to your destination your child can either keep the calming kit in their possession or find a safe spot to store it.

You might want to roleplay with your child how to use the kit ahead of time.  Help them come up with a dialogue so they know what to say to you if they need the calming kit.  Something simple like, “Mom/Dad, I need my kit.”  

Let them know what cues you will use to instruct them to play with the calming kit at the event.  You could say, “If I see you getting upset I will hand you your backpack.”

Depending on the situation, you might want to pick a spot away from the action for your child to go to if they need a spot to calm down and play with the toys in the calming kit.

Look for signs of stress or anxiety in your child and implement the calming kit as needed.The calming kit is also a great tool to simply keep kids entertained.

While the holidays are typically a time for fun and excitement it can also be a time of stress with all of the extra activities and changes to routine.  With the calming kit you and your kiddo will be equipped to survive the holidays!

Elizabeth Purpero

Elizabeth Purpero is a licensed school counselor and licensed professional counselor-in-training.  She has her master’s in counseling psychology.  Elizabeth has worked as an autism therapist with children and teens.  During her career, she has worked in intensive at-home therapy programs utilizing ABA and play therapy along with OT and speech therapy techniques.  She has also worked as a mental health therapist helping clients address their mental health issues as it relates to autism.  Elizabeth’s background working with the autism community has greatly helped her work with students in schools too.  She has helped teachers implement effective strategies, create goals for IEP’s and make classrooms more sensory-friendly.  Mark Twain once said, “Write what you know about,” and Elizabeth enjoys writing about autism-related topics and providing additional resources to help those impacted by autism.

Filed Under: For Kids Tagged With: calming kit, holidays, overstimulation, overwhelm, sensory

Our Experts Reveal 6 Easy Strategies To Have A Sensory Friendly Holiday

November 27, 2019 by Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA

Little girl holding lamp

Not sure how to support your autistic child through the holidays? Worried it’ll be too much for him or her?

The holiday season has a way of sneaking up on us every year. Before you know it, you’re in the thick of lists, decorations, giving away toys to make room for new toys, ordering online, shopping in crowded malls and grocery stores, planning elaborate meals, and making more lists.

You’ve barely had time to mentally prepare yourself, let alone your children. And if you have a child on the spectrum or who is otherwise sensory sensitive, the holidays can become even more stressful. 

You may feel like you are fighting a losing battle in trying to protect your child from overstimulation. Or, you may be unsure of how to handle situations where your child seeks out highly stimulating holiday-related experiences, but becomes over excited easily. In this article, we will talk about a few simple strategies that can make all the difference in balancing sensory input over the holidays. 

If you don’t celebrate Christmas, or you celebrate other holidays like Hanukkah or Diwali, we’ve designed this how-to guide to be applicable across holidays and busy seasons in general. With flexibility and intentionality, you and your children can enjoy this time together, and make special memories that won’t stress you out to look back on.

Set Goals

Whether you go all out or tend to be more minimalist with holiday celebrations, it’s important to be intentional. Goal setting for the holidays will help you decide what you want to prioritize and what you can let slide. By identifying what you’ll do (and what you won’t do) in advance, you’ll set yourself up to feel successful when things get busy. 

For example, if hosting an annual Christmas or New Year’s Eve party is one of your valued traditions, prioritize that while bumping attendance at other parties off the “must do” list. Or, perhaps Christmas is an important holiday for your family to go visit grandparents who are a long drive or flight away – and so, for New Year’s, you might stay in and watch a movie with popcorn and hot chocolate.

Have Doable Days

In addition to Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day, November and December in general can be stressful. And, you may have up to two weeks of full days with your children at home due to school breaks. During this time, understand that though they might not show it or tell you, your child is working really hard to cope with changes in routine and extra sensory input. 

Think about how you can decrease demands on them and on yourself. That way, they can keep directing energy toward self-regulation, and you can keep supporting them to do this and helping them recharge. It’s a full time job and you need to give yourself room to do it.

Let Go of Expectations

When you let go of expectations for what your holidays will look like, you create space to enjoy the small moments with your child. For example, you might not make it to the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony at your local park, and that’s OK. You don’t have to do things that are overtly holiday-themed in order to enjoy the holiday season with your family. That night might be spent at home reading books like Llama Llama Holiday Drama (buy on Amazon here) or Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree together, or playing music in the background while working on a puzzle or drawing. 

Be ready to let go of expectations in the moment. Especially for children with ASD, the ability to regulate in overstimulating situations can vary from day to day or even hour to hour. You may make plans and then break them. On Christmas, if you are staying local, you may not make it to visit every family member’s home as you’d planned. 

If you’re traveling and visiting family out of state, you might be helping your child learn to operate a new toy or take turns playing with cousins instead of sitting down to a family meal. If you let go of expectations ahead of time, you’ll have more fun going with the flow wherever you are on the big day.

Dealing with Overstimulation

There are two skills to have in your toolbox when it comes to dealing with overstimulation around the holiday season: how to avoid it, and how to problem solve when you can’t. To avoid overstimulation, you can do things like skip the crowds by shopping online, visit Santa Claus on a weeknight rather than during the weekend, and wrap gifts in hand-stamped brown paper instead of glitter and curly ribbons. 

But it’s not always possible to avoid situations that will become overstimulating around the holidays, and you shouldn’t have to. Maybe you really want to go to that block party in your neighborhood where there will be lots of kids running around, or maybe you can’t get out of shopping on the weekends due to your work schedule. That’s why you need strategies to deal with sensory overstimulation in the moment.

3 Strategies To Deal With Overstimulation During The Holidays

1. Carry a “sensory shield kit” in your car. 

Stock it with noise cancelling headphones, fidgets, sleep masks, a favorite book or stuffed animal, and whatever other items work best for your child to help them calm down or tune out too much stimulation.

2. Introduce Fewer Gifts & Toys

If your child receives more gifted toys with all the bells and whistles than you were expecting, don’t hesitate to put some away in the closet for a rainy day in January. Sometimes opening a brand new toy a month or two after Christmas Day means your child can enjoy it more.

3. Have an early New Year’s 

Netflix offers a pre-recorded countdown, so you can celebrate New Year’s at whatever time works best for your child. Balance festivity with consistency by integrating fun activities with established routines. This helps your child practice successfully dealing with stimulation that is a little bit more than what they’re used to, without pushing them too far past their sensory comfort zone.

Dealing with Dysregulation

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to have sensory sensitive holiday season is to know ahead of time that there will be hiccups, and that is normal! Sensory input is one way that children on the spectrum can learn from their environment, and sometimes they’ll learn through situations that don’t go so well. 

For example, despite all your best efforts your child might have a tantrum because they don’t want to leave the play area at the mall. Or, they might get so excited about watching their favorite Christmas movie on Christmas Eve that they have difficulty calming down to go to bed.

Consider using a system like the Zones of Regulation or the Incredible 5-Point Scale to help you and your child cope, either in the moment or while debriefing later. Focus on modeling being calm in the moment to help them regulate, and be as neutral as you can (even though it’s totally normal for you to feel stressed, too). Later, talk about or practice how the situation could be handled differently next time, with your child or partner, but don’t overthink it too much. 

Parenting a child on the spectrum is a master class in flexibility, and you’re constantly going at a hundred and ten percent – so give yourself a break during this holiday season, too.

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA

Courtney Gutierrez, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA Courtney is a behavior analyst, educator, and writer in the Pacific Northwest. She has over fifteen years of experience in the field of autism services, and over ten years of master’s level experience in classroom teaching and ABA therapy. Her areas of expertise include infant and toddler development, parent coaching, ABA clinical leadership and training, P-12 special education, and case consultation for children and young adults with autism and other special needs. Courtney lives in Seattle with her husband and two children.

Filed Under: For Parents Tagged With: holidays, overstimulation, sensory

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